Joel 2:13 - Shards Of A Hardened Heart
Step 1: Pray. Select.
It is incredibly dark and quiet this morning before sunrise. As I prayed, the following words began to come to mind:
Darkness of the morning
Nature of Daylight
Repair
Locusts
Restoration
I used the words to search for a scripture that encompasses all of the above to start my prayer practice, the Holy Spirit called me to read the Book of Joel. One called to me while reading, so I decided to start there.
Step 2: Write. Read. Circle
Joel 2:13 - So rend your heart, and not your garments; return to to the Lord your God, For He is gracious and merciful. Slow to anger and of great kindness and he relents from doing harm.
After reading the scripture three times, the following words pulled at my heart:
Rend Your Heart
To The LORD
He is
Slow To Anger
He Relents From Doing Harm
Step 3: Re-Write
Adding my name to the front and with a focus on the words that stood out, here is the sentence(s) I came up with for today:
Jennifer, rend your heart to the LORD. He is slow to anger. He relents from doing harm.
Step 4: Visualize
I envision taking my heart into my hands and shattering it into multiple pieces. Then, I open my hands back up and present the broken shards, revealing where I have hardened my heart to God.
I look up, hands cupped, holding my broken heart, saying, "Father, I want to do better. Can you please look closer and examine these pieces? Maybe you can see something I cannot."
There is darkness all around me, but at this moment in my vision, a warm blanket of light fills the area I occupy, keeping the dark at bay. After reading the entire Book of Joel, I wonder if it is not a dark void that surrounds me but a cloud of locusts blocking out the light, making it difficult to see. Oddly, the primary light source in this vision comes from my hands, which hold my broken heart. I shattered it, and now the light radiates from within the pile of what appears to be rubbish.
God knows I am scared of what he might find in the broken pieces of my heart, but I raise my hands upward, begging him to take a closer look. His heart softened as he saw my desire and utter humility in front of him. He asks me to close my eyes while he looks without judgment.
With eyes shut, I hear the words, "I need you, LORD." The words are spoken in my voice inside my head. I begin saying them over and over. "I need you, LORD."
I feel a wave of emotion rush over me, and I want to cry as I say, "I need you" one last time out loud, this time out of my mouth.
At that moment, I realized there are so many ways in a day my heart is deceiving me into turning away or hardened toward him and his ways. The truth is I don't come to him because if I feel needy and weak, I am afraid he will let me down like others have in my life. In a nutshell, my heart has been so hurt that I don't fully trust God. In this moment of humility, admitting my flawed perspective, I am asking God to make me more present, examining the hidden blind spots like this one I may not be aware of as I encounter everyday situations so I can close the gap between him and me. I want to get closer and eliminate anything that might come between us.
I feel this is a theme he is trying to convey so we don't fall victim to his wrath. He is angry when we follow our hearts instead of his since he warns us in Jeremiah 17:9 - "The heart is deceitful above all things, who can understand it?"
As I look up from my journal, I notice that the sun has risen, and the darkness outside is gone. It feels symbolic. Like he has relented whatever was going to engulf me in the dark earlier in my vision. Whether locusts or anything else that caused me to separate from God's light and loving nature, if I trust him, he assures me he will be gentle with my heart and lead me away from deceit to the truth of who he really is.
Step 5: Ask. Seek
The main question(s) that came to mind were:
Holy Spirit, how do I recognize what I need to repent about?
Step 6: Hear. Write. Receive
"Notice your emotions. If you find the need to prove your opinion to others, or you are in a judgmental, frustrated, anxious, angry, or other heightened emotional state, your heart is in control, and it is deceitful. You might need to examine every day, multiple times a day, to understand how often it is exalting itself in front of the will of God until it understands its place behind God. God created the heart to show the range of emotions He feels. Remember, we are created in his image. But we must put the heart in its place, behind the creator who created it. What you want and what you need are two very different things. So every time you open your mouth outside of normal conversation to express an opinion, ask yourself, is this what I want to say, or is this in alignment with the will of my Father? If he was here right now, in this very moment with me, would what I am about to say glorify him and or disappoint him? Do this thing and notice. Take note. This is your instruction for today.
Step 7: Pray. Confirm
I will make sure my two witnesses pray over my heart and mouth to avoid speaking in emotionally charged situations before confirming that whatever I say aligns with God's will. As stated in Proverbs 4:23, "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." This seems easier said than done. However, no matter what, exposing unwieldy thoughts that could cause me to fall out of alignment with the Father deserves some real thought and examination.
If you used the scripture of the day and need prayer or someone to pray with you, connect Here. Remember, you are not alone.
Step 8: Share. Testify
If you workshopped any of the verses mentioned above using the 8-Step Prayer Practice, we would love to hear from you in the comments below about what the Holy Spirit showed or spoke to you today.
Don't forget to Spread hope and share HERE if you have a miracle or testimony. We want to see how God is working in your life!
Conclusion:
Remember, friends, the way to restoration, no matter what has happened in your life, is to rend your heart to the LORD.
Let's put our hearts behind the creator who created it so we can avoid being deceived in everyday situations.
Be aware and on guard. No matter what is going on or how bad the world looks, God is always greater and can relent in any situation you encounter today and always. And that is a truth we can rely on!
May God guide your heart today and always!
